Last night was another long and tiring night. The effects of the radiotherapy not only brought Annie pain in her legs and back (which we were told to expect within the first two weeks) but also made her literally deliriously tired (nobody warned us about that). She felt feverish and I had wondered about calling the doctor but she insisted that I should not. Her temperature fluctuated quite a lot last night and one minute I was opening up the window, and the next, trying to put more clothes on her.
When she started to even out a bit, I read to her Psalm 30 which was on my mind as I closed last night’s entry with it. In fact, when I was done reading it she said: “Read it again!” I’ve said it before somewhere in this blog, but I’ll say it again the Psalms in the bible are such a blessing to us in difficult times. In particular, when we feel too overwhelmed or weary to find the words to pray, the Psalms often give us the words to pray. I wasn’t just reading Psalm 30 to Annie last night, I was talking to the Lord through it.
It reminded me that in Matthew 10:19 Jesus, told His disciples that when (note, not if!) they were persecuted on His account, they were not to fear being tongue tied, He would give them the words to say. Last night, my circumstances may not have been directly applicable to the circumstance Jesus described in that chapter but there is a sense that whenever and wherever we are weak, our enemy does try to silence us. Our enemy longs to silence us so that he might disuade us or disparage us. But I just felt that as I read through the Word of God in the Psalms, He was filling my lips with words of prayer.
I love my Lord! He hears my prayers, answers my prayers (maybe not as I always want, but certainly according to what is best for me because He loves me so much) and even voices my prayers when I am weak.
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
LORD my God, I will praise you forever. – Psalm 30:12
Eventually Annie slept, but for me, it was 6 hours of the kind of sleep where you feel too cautious to allow yourself to get a deep sleep.
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning. – Psalm 30:5
We both woke up early this morning and in the afternoon enjoyed a great day again. We had a lovely visit from Amanda and Robbie and their girls along with dear Rosie. All came bearing some lovely birthday gifts for Annie. We managed to gently persuade them to stay with us for lunch which was a great blessing to us.
You know the pulpit is not the only place for ministering the Word of God and the church-hall/sanctuary not the only fellowship meeting place. The home and the meal table are just as important and blessed places within and around which we can serve the Lord, share His blessings, open His Word, sing His praises and serve one another and the needy in love. Some of the greatest times of ministry for Annie and I have happened in our home, and around that old meal table.
Well, both Annie and I need an early night which is what we intend to do right now!
At His Feet and in His Hands,
R&A
I could agree more, meals around a table with friends and family and talking about the Lord and His word. Wonderful.
hope you guys sleep better tonight, especially you Annie, big hug and squeeze, love you.
joy
x
I am a member of Hayes Town Chapel in West London and recently subscribed to your blog. I have been moved and inspired by your story so far and pray that you both would be blessed on your future journey together and that whatever the future may hold, you would be a means of grace to each other and the many people you minister to through the reading of this blog etc.
Assuring you of my prayers.
Every blessing,
Simon Pearman
Dear Ryan and Annie. After reading today’s blog I’ve prayed that you may both be blessed with a peaceful and pain free night, refreshed to worship together with God’s people on the Lord’s day. Look forward to seeing you both in church. You are both amazing and inspirational. Nikki xx